Karma
Yesterday I posted an entry about my intention to move out of my current flat. Today, that flat tried to evict me, as I’ve lost my precious house keys. Karma, I should say.
The stupid thing was, it was already past 10pm when I realized I had lost them. I just got back from a long gimmick night with friends so I was a bit groggy already. I had to stop by some deserted alley, sit for a while and one by one examine the contents of my bag. Soon I had to go back to the office to see if I had accidentally put the keys in the toilet key holder. Nada, too.
When it was finally time to admit I had lost them, I called up my good-looking property agent to help me contact my landlord who doesn’t speak English. A few minutes later, the landlord arrived in the building and gave me his extra keys. I’m pretty sure he was already in bed when he received that call.
That aside, today was a really good day. I even went to a private sale of a famous luxury brand. I was allowed to bring friends, so I brought three of them. Sale was up to 90% off, but even with the already discounted price, we still couldn’t afford any of the products. Disappointed, we decided to just go to a nearby Thai restaurant for dinner and some martini. Feeling sosy.
Flat talk
I’m not even half past my contract, but already I’m thinking of moving out of this flat. I feel that I’ve made the wrong decision – well, at least now that the conditions are very much different from a couple of months back. I feel that I’ve drastically downgraded my space from a mock-two-bedroom-hotel-suite to a mock-prison-cell.
Well, I can still breathe (and, honestly, I should say I enjoy sleeping here, too), but it’s the lack of closet space that irks me the most, next to the lack of a proper dining and kitchen. Before I moved in here, I asked +honhon+ to bring some of my stuff back to Pinas. When I went home twice last month, I also brought home a few bulky items, but still it feels so crowded in here. It’s for this reason that I’ve stopped collecting HK magazine, among others, which, by the way, was my only vice-slash-real-devotion in my entire HK life. I even vowed not to buy new clothes, so I don’t have to worry where to place them (although I have to admit H&M makes me weak; today I impulsively purchased a striped hoodie for winter – ok, before you react, let me explain: it’s 50% off so I think I should be absolved from this one).
A part of me says it’s impractical to move out this early, but then also a part of me says I should do it now. I’m confused. Then, if I ever decide to move out, I’ll be facing another confounding question: “where?”. It’s going to be even harder to decide because (I think) I am widening my options, too. Aside from Hong Kong Island, I am now considering parts of Kowloon, Lantau and New Territories, which practically means I can settle anywhere in HK!
Soon I will have to rationalize if it is better to get an $8,000 flat on Hong Kong Island and enjoy the convenience of being close to the office, or settle for a $6,000 flat elsewhere and be prepared to convert two hours of Internet time to travel time, daily. I’m really confused.
Then, again, I might even stay in this mock-prison-cell longer than expected. Oh, it’s really confusing.
*****
As of this writing, water and gas utilities in my old flat in Aberdeen are still under my name. I have requested the utility companies to have them cut a week after I moved out, but they insisted on checking the meters first, which I couldn’t let them because I don’t have the keys anymore. Now, the owner has sold the property and I need to make an appointment with my former landlady on when we should meet the “meter guys”.
[reserved]
Back up on the horse
It’s an unusually tiring day, but it’s all worth it, as I've accomplished a lot today. First, I've regained the trust of those who’ve doubted me. Second, I’ve regained my confidence. Third, I’ve saved a shaky friendship and a long-term business partnership. Fourth, my Pinoy friends and I capped the night with some window-shopping and a fun dinner at Steak House in Tung Chung Citygate mall. I’m happy that instead of contemplating on what went wrong, I decided to just move on and rise above it all. Indeed, when one stumbles and falls, there’s no better way of dealing with it than trying to get back up. I love this day!
Identity crisis
I think I am having an identity crisis. I feel that I have changed a lot, from the way I think, to the way I speak, to the way I see and perceive things. Oftentimes, I’m not happy with the decisions I make, no matter how big or small they are. No matter how long and hard I think things through and wish they turned out right, none of them ever happen the way I want them to, the way I had planned them to be.
Sometimes I think if I’m being overly ambitious, but then many instances that tell me I am not are proofs that I am far from being one. Sometimes I also think if I’m a perfectionist, but my flaws tell me otherwise. I would like to believe that I am likeable, but recent events prove me wrong.
I find it hard to define who I am now because the very essence of my journey here is missing. I don’t even know which of the seven areas of identity crisis am I dealing with now.
I think I need a break, a long one. But before I do, I need to correct what has gone wrong.
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